This past Sunday, thanks to Scott Smith's message in Sunday School, I had a new thought--new to me--about the rapture of the church and the second coming of Christ. It was based on the translation of Enoch directly into heaven. Scott made the connection that this was a picture of the rapture of the church at Christ's coming. This is what came to my mind that afternoon...
Enoch, and his being translated, is a picture of the church and what will take place when Christ returns to claim it as His bride. What cannot be ignored here is that Enoch's translation was the result of his faith—a life of surrender and active obedience to God's will. We say we are waiting for Christ to come back and take us up into heaven with him like he did Enoch, but could it be that Christ is waiting for us to prove our faith as well? Can it be that Christ will not return until he find's His church fully surrendered and obedient to the Father's will?
In addition to returning for His church, what is the purpose for Christ's return? to finally conquer the evil in the world. The apostle John in his first epistle speaks of the victory over the world. "This is the victory that overcomes the world, our faith." (1 Jhn 5:4) Our faith! We like to spend time reading, studying and debating the various theories of Christ's return quite possibly to the point of diverting ourselves from the role we must play. We wonder why it hasn't happened yet. He's likely wondering the same thing…
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Nearer My God To Thee
In him was life and the Life was the light of men. He came that men might have life and have life more abundantly. He came to show the way to the Father and everything he did was what the Father does. Everything he said was what the Father says. Everything he gave was what the Father gives. The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. Even now the Light shines and illuminates the Way for all who would have eyes to see.
He told us that we could be sons and daughters. He called us his friends. He said there was a way to right the wrongs and be free from oppression. He gave hope to the hopeless, sight to the blind and spoke of release for the captive. He brought purpose to our suffering through His own and through His death; He purchased life for those who would believe in the power of His resurrection. Even now the Light shines to show the Way for all who would dare to take its narrow path.
He who was left alone promised that we would never be forsaken. The One who was rejected is welcoming us to the wedding feast. He who was not recognized proclaims that He sees all and for those who would desire it – to them even the things that are not seen will be made known. He who was rejected has His arms outstretched. The One who was betrayed offers undying loyalty – the One who was denied says, "I believe in you." The one who was hated cries, "I love you." Even now the Light shines to proclaim the Truth to all who would have ears to hear it.
Now He stands knocking at the door. If any one would open the door then He promises that He will come in and abide. The trembling hand of desire passes through the depth of my longing as I slowly turn the handle and open the door. The Light shines brighter now as I peer through quivering eyes with tears flowing down. My mind is clear and the mystery begins to unfold - bursting before me just as the dawn surprises the night sky with the first glints of daybreak. There He is in the midst of it. He is calling, "Do you love me? Come after me, follow after me, trust me. Do you love me?" Even now, the Light shines and illuminates the Way to Life for all who would have eyes to see.
So I reach out without hesitation and take hold of its long and splintered frame with all the weight and the shame. I dare not look away from the Light! I pick it up and begin to carry it up the hill as the crowd jeers and casts bets for my clothing, they offer me vinegar to drink and take punches at my face – they rip hair from my head and face. I dare not look away from the Light! I see Him running to me. He has a robe in His hand and He is calling for the fatted calf. He gently speaks words of peace to me that seem to drown out the mocking lies, "I have a place prepared for you at my Father's table."
I feel the stares, I burn in the heat, and the vultures swarm over my head like flies. My eyes begin to fade and with one last burst of energy I take a few more steps. I dare not look away from the Light! Then I see Him again but he too is naked. He is right beside me. This time my eyes are clear and I realize that He has been there with me all along. As I feel the nails pierce my hands - I dare not look away from the Light. The pain bows my back and my breath is taken from me but still I strain to see through the commotion that His hands are being nailed too. Then we were raised in unison against the afternoon sky to hang there in the midst of my hell. Even now, with knees buckling from sorrowful wounds, the Light shines in the darkness – my darkness – and the darkness does not overcome it.
As the life left my body I could feel His love flowing through my entire being. Time, matter and space were no more for the old had passed away and I could hear Him saying, "Behold, I make all things new."
Now the veil has been rent and the walls shattered within the temple of my heart. Now there is the promise of a resurrection into and beyond the mystery.
"Nearer, my God to thee, nearer to thee!
Even though it be a cross that raiseth me,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams I'd be nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
There let the way appear, steps unto heaven;
All that thou sendest me, in mercy given;
Angels to beckon me nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Then with my waking thoughts bright with thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!"
-Sarah F. Adams, 1841
Note: I did not write this, but I was impacted so much by it that I felt the need to share it. The credit goes to Steve Downs.
Thanks for this Steve.
He told us that we could be sons and daughters. He called us his friends. He said there was a way to right the wrongs and be free from oppression. He gave hope to the hopeless, sight to the blind and spoke of release for the captive. He brought purpose to our suffering through His own and through His death; He purchased life for those who would believe in the power of His resurrection. Even now the Light shines to show the Way for all who would dare to take its narrow path.
He who was left alone promised that we would never be forsaken. The One who was rejected is welcoming us to the wedding feast. He who was not recognized proclaims that He sees all and for those who would desire it – to them even the things that are not seen will be made known. He who was rejected has His arms outstretched. The One who was betrayed offers undying loyalty – the One who was denied says, "I believe in you." The one who was hated cries, "I love you." Even now the Light shines to proclaim the Truth to all who would have ears to hear it.
Now He stands knocking at the door. If any one would open the door then He promises that He will come in and abide. The trembling hand of desire passes through the depth of my longing as I slowly turn the handle and open the door. The Light shines brighter now as I peer through quivering eyes with tears flowing down. My mind is clear and the mystery begins to unfold - bursting before me just as the dawn surprises the night sky with the first glints of daybreak. There He is in the midst of it. He is calling, "Do you love me? Come after me, follow after me, trust me. Do you love me?" Even now, the Light shines and illuminates the Way to Life for all who would have eyes to see.
So I reach out without hesitation and take hold of its long and splintered frame with all the weight and the shame. I dare not look away from the Light! I pick it up and begin to carry it up the hill as the crowd jeers and casts bets for my clothing, they offer me vinegar to drink and take punches at my face – they rip hair from my head and face. I dare not look away from the Light! I see Him running to me. He has a robe in His hand and He is calling for the fatted calf. He gently speaks words of peace to me that seem to drown out the mocking lies, "I have a place prepared for you at my Father's table."
I feel the stares, I burn in the heat, and the vultures swarm over my head like flies. My eyes begin to fade and with one last burst of energy I take a few more steps. I dare not look away from the Light! Then I see Him again but he too is naked. He is right beside me. This time my eyes are clear and I realize that He has been there with me all along. As I feel the nails pierce my hands - I dare not look away from the Light. The pain bows my back and my breath is taken from me but still I strain to see through the commotion that His hands are being nailed too. Then we were raised in unison against the afternoon sky to hang there in the midst of my hell. Even now, with knees buckling from sorrowful wounds, the Light shines in the darkness – my darkness – and the darkness does not overcome it.
As the life left my body I could feel His love flowing through my entire being. Time, matter and space were no more for the old had passed away and I could hear Him saying, "Behold, I make all things new."
Now the veil has been rent and the walls shattered within the temple of my heart. Now there is the promise of a resurrection into and beyond the mystery.
"Nearer, my God to thee, nearer to thee!
Even though it be a cross that raiseth me,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams I'd be nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
There let the way appear, steps unto heaven;
All that thou sendest me, in mercy given;
Angels to beckon me nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Then with my waking thoughts bright with thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!"
-Sarah F. Adams, 1841
Note: I did not write this, but I was impacted so much by it that I felt the need to share it. The credit goes to Steve Downs.
Thanks for this Steve.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Where would Christ be?
Where would He be if He were living among us today? With whom would He spend His time? We know He was called a drunk and glutton and known to be seen with theives and whores. He was ridiculed for healing and not fasting on the Sabbath. He taught in "the church" but was most often a field preacher. I'm sure Christ went to pray and offer sacrifice growing up in Nazareth with godly parents, but as a young adult he was an awful "church memeber". The only times He was in "the church" he was whipping people or chastising them for their pride and blindness to the truth.
This information lends itself to answers many of us won't like hearing. Would Christ be called a drunk today? Would he be accused of being too liberal in His enjoyment of life? Would we find Him in the streets, at the bar or the coffee shop conversing with sinners? Would He miss church on Sunday in exchange for the opportunity to spend time with all those Sabbath-breakers? If He did come to one of our "services", what do you think He'd have to say? Would He congradulate us on being the biggest church in town or pat us on the back for all our neat "discipleship" classes?
Whatever our answers are we must act on what we discover here. With knowledge comes responsibility. To the extent we are given anything, to that same extent are we responsible, Christ says required, to act.
What are your thoughts?
This information lends itself to answers many of us won't like hearing. Would Christ be called a drunk today? Would he be accused of being too liberal in His enjoyment of life? Would we find Him in the streets, at the bar or the coffee shop conversing with sinners? Would He miss church on Sunday in exchange for the opportunity to spend time with all those Sabbath-breakers? If He did come to one of our "services", what do you think He'd have to say? Would He congradulate us on being the biggest church in town or pat us on the back for all our neat "discipleship" classes?
Whatever our answers are we must act on what we discover here. With knowledge comes responsibility. To the extent we are given anything, to that same extent are we responsible, Christ says required, to act.
What are your thoughts?
Monday, March 12, 2007
Salvation
"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life."
"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me."
Many times we find Christ's words to be parodoxical. In one instance He says simply believe. In another to leave everything and follow. Which is it then? Believe and be saved or lose your life in order to find it? Is this really an option God has given us? Can you do one without doing the other? I don't know. Only God knows the hearts of men.
It has been my experience that the church today is filled mostly with "believers" but very few followers. This is nothing new. In the 1400's Thomas a' Kempis wrote in his book The Imitation of Christ, "Jesus has always many who love His heavenly kingdom, but few who bear His cross. He has many who desire consolation, but few who care for trial. He finds many to share His table, but few to take part in His fasting. All desire to be happy with Him; few wish to suffer anything for Him. Many follow Him to the breaking of bread, but few to the drinking of the chalice of His passion. Many revere His miracles; few approach the shame of the Cross."
As a nation and a church we have all but eliminated the need to loose anything--except maybe our guilt--to be a Christian. The evangelists focus on the rewards--on what we can get from Christ. The majority of our music is centered on this. Is this what we find in the life and teachings of our Lord? Did He qualify His actions by asking the Father what was in it for Him? I think we all know the answer to that is a resounding NO.
The basic instinct of life is self-preservation. God knows this and uses it to bring us back into fellowship with Himself. To believe, to trust in Christ for salvation from our sin is at the root of every persons conversion. My question is, "Is this all there is to it?" Are we just saved so we can live forever and be with God? I can't believe it. We are here to be taught to be like God. To fulfill our eternal destiny of being created in His image.
Self is the enemy of Life. When we please ourselves we are not pleasing God. We either live for self or for God--these are the only options. George MacDonald said that self was a dungeon and that freedom could only be found in leaving self to live for Christ and our fellowmen. There is no greater love than to lay down our life for our Friend. This kind of love, the giving up of ourselves, is the only real salvation because it is the only true freedom--freedom from the prison of self.
You may be thinking that I'm being too harsh in here. "You mean I can't do anything I find pleasing ? Doesn't God just want me to be happy?" Unfortunately, when we try to answer these simple questions in light of what Christ said, they no longer seem so simple. I would say that God does want us to live joyful lives, but when we say that do we know what true joy is? Do we know what it might cost us in worldly terms to find it?
Following Christ's call to follow He made the statement, "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." We've heard this a hundred times in Sunday schools or sermons, but have we ever looked into what Christ meant when He said "lose" and "find"? The Greek word used for lose is apollumi which means "to destroy". The Greek word for find is heurisko which means "to see, learn, discover, understand; to find out by practice and experience". Let's also look at "save". The Greek word sozo means "to rescue from danger or destruction".
After a study of the true meaning of the language Christ used perhaps a more literal and realevant translation would be, "Whoever wishes to avoid the death of the cross will be destroyed, but whoever willingly goes to this destruction for My sake will find out by experience what it is to live."
I asked the question at first whether you could believe and not follow. I think Christ speaks for Himself.
Grace and Peace,
Nathan
"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me."
Many times we find Christ's words to be parodoxical. In one instance He says simply believe. In another to leave everything and follow. Which is it then? Believe and be saved or lose your life in order to find it? Is this really an option God has given us? Can you do one without doing the other? I don't know. Only God knows the hearts of men.
It has been my experience that the church today is filled mostly with "believers" but very few followers. This is nothing new. In the 1400's Thomas a' Kempis wrote in his book The Imitation of Christ, "Jesus has always many who love His heavenly kingdom, but few who bear His cross. He has many who desire consolation, but few who care for trial. He finds many to share His table, but few to take part in His fasting. All desire to be happy with Him; few wish to suffer anything for Him. Many follow Him to the breaking of bread, but few to the drinking of the chalice of His passion. Many revere His miracles; few approach the shame of the Cross."
As a nation and a church we have all but eliminated the need to loose anything--except maybe our guilt--to be a Christian. The evangelists focus on the rewards--on what we can get from Christ. The majority of our music is centered on this. Is this what we find in the life and teachings of our Lord? Did He qualify His actions by asking the Father what was in it for Him? I think we all know the answer to that is a resounding NO.
The basic instinct of life is self-preservation. God knows this and uses it to bring us back into fellowship with Himself. To believe, to trust in Christ for salvation from our sin is at the root of every persons conversion. My question is, "Is this all there is to it?" Are we just saved so we can live forever and be with God? I can't believe it. We are here to be taught to be like God. To fulfill our eternal destiny of being created in His image.
Self is the enemy of Life. When we please ourselves we are not pleasing God. We either live for self or for God--these are the only options. George MacDonald said that self was a dungeon and that freedom could only be found in leaving self to live for Christ and our fellowmen. There is no greater love than to lay down our life for our Friend. This kind of love, the giving up of ourselves, is the only real salvation because it is the only true freedom--freedom from the prison of self.
You may be thinking that I'm being too harsh in here. "You mean I can't do anything I find pleasing ? Doesn't God just want me to be happy?" Unfortunately, when we try to answer these simple questions in light of what Christ said, they no longer seem so simple. I would say that God does want us to live joyful lives, but when we say that do we know what true joy is? Do we know what it might cost us in worldly terms to find it?
Following Christ's call to follow He made the statement, "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." We've heard this a hundred times in Sunday schools or sermons, but have we ever looked into what Christ meant when He said "lose" and "find"? The Greek word used for lose is apollumi which means "to destroy". The Greek word for find is heurisko which means "to see, learn, discover, understand; to find out by practice and experience". Let's also look at "save". The Greek word sozo means "to rescue from danger or destruction".
After a study of the true meaning of the language Christ used perhaps a more literal and realevant translation would be, "Whoever wishes to avoid the death of the cross will be destroyed, but whoever willingly goes to this destruction for My sake will find out by experience what it is to live."
I asked the question at first whether you could believe and not follow. I think Christ speaks for Himself.
Grace and Peace,
Nathan
Monday, February 12, 2007
Do you really want to be pure?
This was the question asked by my pastor yesterday morning. It is one of the most important questions that can be asked of each of us. It will reveal to us what is truly our heart's treasure. It reminded of a quote from Andrew Murray from his sermon, Absolute Surrender.
"Who is there who truly longs to be delivered from the power of the self-life, who truly acknowledges that it is the power of self and the flesh, and who is willing to cast all at the feet of Christ?"
Can any of us say these words truly? "I give up everything. I will hold nothing back. Nothing in myself or in my life, nothing I own or hold valuable, not my friends, my family, my job, my beliefs of who He is, my time, my money, my rights, nothing is off limits to God and his purifying fire. Which fire is His love that has and always will burn us clean."
As much as I hate to say it, I have not been and still seem not willing enough to give over EVERYTHING. God is allowed to walk the halls of my life in only certain areas. I come out to see Him every now and then, but when I get uncomfortable or find it more than I am wanting to give or do I hide in the parts of myself I have refused to let Him enter.
My answer to these questions would have to be, "No. I don't really want to be pure. I don't really want to be free of my self-centered life."
How can I change? How can you? It seems like an impossible task, even if I wanted to change. It is impossible. "Without me you can do nothing." Christ is the answer, Himself. I have, and maybe you can relate, taken His teachings or His ministers or His people, instead of Him alone. We will never be able to apply Christ's teachings to our lives. We must have Christ!
God does not want to be a part of our lives. He want's be our Life.
"Who is there who truly longs to be delivered from the power of the self-life, who truly acknowledges that it is the power of self and the flesh, and who is willing to cast all at the feet of Christ?"
Can any of us say these words truly? "I give up everything. I will hold nothing back. Nothing in myself or in my life, nothing I own or hold valuable, not my friends, my family, my job, my beliefs of who He is, my time, my money, my rights, nothing is off limits to God and his purifying fire. Which fire is His love that has and always will burn us clean."
As much as I hate to say it, I have not been and still seem not willing enough to give over EVERYTHING. God is allowed to walk the halls of my life in only certain areas. I come out to see Him every now and then, but when I get uncomfortable or find it more than I am wanting to give or do I hide in the parts of myself I have refused to let Him enter.
My answer to these questions would have to be, "No. I don't really want to be pure. I don't really want to be free of my self-centered life."
How can I change? How can you? It seems like an impossible task, even if I wanted to change. It is impossible. "Without me you can do nothing." Christ is the answer, Himself. I have, and maybe you can relate, taken His teachings or His ministers or His people, instead of Him alone. We will never be able to apply Christ's teachings to our lives. We must have Christ!
God does not want to be a part of our lives. He want's be our Life.
Monday, January 22, 2007
A Flower in His Garden
What is a life worth? What is lost when a life is not given a chance to experience the world and the love and grace of God? What has the world lost? What has God lost? What is the cost?
We are all created in the image of God, broken as we may be. We are all called to unity with the Father and the Son. We are all to be like Him in word and deed and thought. It would seem at first glance that God intends to make us worshiping robots—all of us doing and saying the same things, but nothing could be further from the truth. Why else would He have made us individuals? God has something to reveal about Himself to and through each of us. This is the fulfillment of being created in His image. Each one of us has the joy of being intimate with God in a way no other can. As does each of us have something to reveal about God that only we can show to others.
More than 50 million babies have been aborted in our country in recent history. What could we have learned about God from them? They could have been great teachers, leaders, parents, friends—they could have changed the world. Our loss is really impossible to estimate. God’s loss is even more so. Each of those lives represents a piece of God we will not be blessed to know on this side of eternity. Each life ended is a cutting off of God’s hands and feet as well as a limiting of His heart.
“Each of us is a distinct flower or tree in the spiritual garden of God,—precious, each for his own sake, in the eyes of Him who is even now making us,—each of us watered and shone upon and filled with life, for the sake of his flower, his completed being, which will blossom out of him at last to the glory and pleasure of the Great Gardener.” – George MacDonald
We are all created in the image of God, broken as we may be. We are all called to unity with the Father and the Son. We are all to be like Him in word and deed and thought. It would seem at first glance that God intends to make us worshiping robots—all of us doing and saying the same things, but nothing could be further from the truth. Why else would He have made us individuals? God has something to reveal about Himself to and through each of us. This is the fulfillment of being created in His image. Each one of us has the joy of being intimate with God in a way no other can. As does each of us have something to reveal about God that only we can show to others.
More than 50 million babies have been aborted in our country in recent history. What could we have learned about God from them? They could have been great teachers, leaders, parents, friends—they could have changed the world. Our loss is really impossible to estimate. God’s loss is even more so. Each of those lives represents a piece of God we will not be blessed to know on this side of eternity. Each life ended is a cutting off of God’s hands and feet as well as a limiting of His heart.
“Each of us is a distinct flower or tree in the spiritual garden of God,—precious, each for his own sake, in the eyes of Him who is even now making us,—each of us watered and shone upon and filled with life, for the sake of his flower, his completed being, which will blossom out of him at last to the glory and pleasure of the Great Gardener.” – George MacDonald
Saturday, January 6, 2007
If I could change one thing...
Several months ago the daughter of a good friend asked him the question, "If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?" He later brought the same question to me.
You would think that an answer would be easy to find. Just think of the worst thing going on in the world right now and eliminate it. But then that seems too selfish. We would only be making a difference in the present and future. What if we could go back and change something in the past that would have spared countless numbers of people their lives and happiness? That would be ideal--something like World War II or Vietnam. Or even further back to the cruelty of the middle ages and the tyrannical monarchs before. The typical "world peace" answer. Other ideas of ridding the world of poverty, war, hunger, and all the pain that comes with it went through my mind.
I know the presence of Christ is the source of true peace so I tried to think of ways to bring the Truth to people in an elaborate, world-reaching way. I had ideas of more money for missions, more government officials with faith in God. I found myself seeing a modern day crusade into all the world. In this I thought I might find my answer. Then I considered what I might be able to altar in the circumstances surrounding the life of Christ to make His message more effective and in turn change all the events of human history since His death. Now this would be the ultimate answer. Change one thing and the world would be a completely different place. But as I went deeper I soon found myself realizing the simple truth that God is all-powerful and all-knowing and that if it was needful for the world and for our mortal and eternal lives, He would have already done it. In fact He did all that was needful when He sent Christ.
The fact is that all the terrible things that have happened have taken place because Christ has not been allowed to do His work of new creation through out the world. The crusade is taking place as we speak, but few realize it so few fight. Peace and love is conquering hate and war, but only were there are those so full of Love itself they cannot be stopped. I came to the somber conclusion that there is only one thing in the world to change and the question isn't "If I could" but rather "Will I" change... MYSELF.
You would think that an answer would be easy to find. Just think of the worst thing going on in the world right now and eliminate it. But then that seems too selfish. We would only be making a difference in the present and future. What if we could go back and change something in the past that would have spared countless numbers of people their lives and happiness? That would be ideal--something like World War II or Vietnam. Or even further back to the cruelty of the middle ages and the tyrannical monarchs before. The typical "world peace" answer. Other ideas of ridding the world of poverty, war, hunger, and all the pain that comes with it went through my mind.
I know the presence of Christ is the source of true peace so I tried to think of ways to bring the Truth to people in an elaborate, world-reaching way. I had ideas of more money for missions, more government officials with faith in God. I found myself seeing a modern day crusade into all the world. In this I thought I might find my answer. Then I considered what I might be able to altar in the circumstances surrounding the life of Christ to make His message more effective and in turn change all the events of human history since His death. Now this would be the ultimate answer. Change one thing and the world would be a completely different place. But as I went deeper I soon found myself realizing the simple truth that God is all-powerful and all-knowing and that if it was needful for the world and for our mortal and eternal lives, He would have already done it. In fact He did all that was needful when He sent Christ.
The fact is that all the terrible things that have happened have taken place because Christ has not been allowed to do His work of new creation through out the world. The crusade is taking place as we speak, but few realize it so few fight. Peace and love is conquering hate and war, but only were there are those so full of Love itself they cannot be stopped. I came to the somber conclusion that there is only one thing in the world to change and the question isn't "If I could" but rather "Will I" change... MYSELF.
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